To complain… is to argue against what is. Watch the pervasiveness of this in your experience, and then extend a crazy amount of compassion for this movement that flows out of you.
To allow with compassion, creates an openness within ourselves that’s willing to learn from the experience. To judge yourself for your complaining, is to turn away from the lesson.
It seems the fundamental miss-perception, is to see life, others and things as a threat to your ability to be at peace, or to feel whole. We make up all sorts of excuses and stories as to why life and others aren’t moving appropriately, but really… this is most often a judgment that tries to control, manipulate, or suppress the naturalness and innocence of life.
The fastest way to know if you are holding on to judgments, or resting in a state of complaining, is to feel in your body any sense of tension or emotional un-wellness. Then ask yourself… Who or what am I blaming as the source of this perceived un-wellness?
You’ll see the mind look outside of what you are, searching for a story in the mind about this or that person (even the imagined self) or life condition, and when it thinks it finds the answer… you now know the illusion being held onto as the source of the inner pain.