Secret #1 – Connecting to Self, Others & All of Life

Connecting to Self, Others & All of Life….

Secret #1.  We All Want the Same Thing

relationship connecting

The playful paradox, is that we can’t say definitively what it is that we want.  In this, and in the confusion that tries to define it, we create images, labels, ideals and beliefs about what we want.  These conclusions, as I’m sure you’ve recognized, are always shifting about and circling around a familiar doubt.  This doubt, wonders… “do I really want this, do I really believe that?” Or, “is this what it means, or does it mean that?”  

It is impossible to pin down in the mind, and rightfully so, because what we all truly want isn’t a product of the mind. There is this intrinsic calling within that longs to unite, or rather… connect; but connect to what?

For us to connect with this, we must acknowledge the limitation of the mind and move into a new way of listening. Traditionally, we are taught to label as the way of defining; here, I invite you to feel without the need to label.  Asking the question from your Heart, “what do I want more than anything else?”

As we discover for ourselves the nature of this universal and most primary desire, we recognize that it is the primary desire of all things.  If all things are an expression of the One, then all things at their core are a reflection of this desire.   

To know that it cannot be fully stated with words, hear what I’m saying with your heart.  What we all want can begin to be described by the following…

Love; which is to be seen and to feel connected.  Peace; which is to know all is or will soon be seen as well.  Freedom; which is complete permission to be as we are.   

To summarize these three points of the primary desire, we can refer to them as Wholeness.  It is that space within the Self that doesn’t feel separate in any way.  Of course this is what births the desire for connection, a sense of being separate from what we desire. This is True for Self, Others, & All of Life.  

Practical Application:  

  • Self: When we acknowledge that what we desire most is not a product of the mind, we can discover a space of rest that isn’t frantically chasing thought as the solution to our sense of separation. To know that your desire for connection is really about connecting to self and feeling whole, we can let go of all the mental barriers that only seem to be in the way.  
  • Others:  If the primary desire of another is ultimately to feel whole, what they are looking for in their attempt to connect with you, is to be seen as whole.  Just as when you might be reaching out for connection, what the mind is saying to another isn’t really the issue; the real issue is resting in or seeking a sense of wholeness.  To connect with another, know that what they say is secondary, and underneath, is an innocent child who’s walking home.  
  • Life: Connecting with Life can seem incredibly difficult, when you believe your primary desire is different from the desire of Life. There is a calm breeze that arises as you begin to see your desires are the same.  This is where we begin to feel not so separate from life, and you start to see clearly that you’re actually working together in a beautiful way.  As you observe life in all its forms, recognize that what you’re observing isn’t in the way, rather it is showing you the way.  Initially this is difficult if you’re looking only from the mind, so look from the heart with an inner knowing that this is for you, and not against you.


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