To put it simply and directly, emotional intelligence is to not take your emotional cue from the manifest condition. Rather it is to consciously allow your preferred emotional state for the sake of joy and creation.
To take your emotional cue from the manifest world, is to look at life conditions and your fearful stories about them, and then let that decide what emotions you should experience. It is totally giving your power away to an illusion that’s not really there.
Emotional intelligence is to, not reject fearful emotions as obstacles, however, you can discard fearful emotions as quickly as they arise and are recognized as such, because they are just there to remind you to refocus anyway.
There isn’t really a need to get caught up in them and figure them out. Remember, they are alarms that invite you to adjust where your attention is. However, if an emotional pattern continues to arise in a way that resembles a prison, then there is some necessary heart-centered investigation that needs to take place.