You are all things within the realm of perspective.
You are a saint and a sinner. You are the embodiment of kindness, and the totality of a jerk. You are big and small, strong and weak, and all things in-between.
In my experience, as I stand in this footprint, onlookers can see and perceive a man of both light and dark colors. They can see an arrogant son-of-a-bitch, or maybe they see a deep humility, which trusts only in the divine perfection of this moment.
Which one is true? Neither of course. Because when we look at other people, we don’t see them, we tend to only see what our conditioned mind has been told to see. If a christian radical sees a gay man, they will see hatred and judgmental distain. If a seen by another, the image is one of open appreciation for the ability to be authentic.
You see? We see ourselves. We experience what exists within us. This is the miracle of relationships and the reflection thereof. Constantly there is the opportunity to discover the ways in-which we are withholding love from others, which is really to expose the ways we are withholding love from ourselves.
So… How to deal?
My approach: I give people complete freedom to not like me. I love that they have the freedom to be bothered, and that our exchange might expose an opportunity within themselves to discover more love. For us both.
The more I ‘put myself out there,’ then the more perspectives swirl around the idea of tiger, or tigmonk. All of which I find comically sincere and valid to some degree. Everything from a (negatively toned) know-it-all-Guru who only serves himself, to a (positively toned) deeply sincere man that is the embodiment of divine love.
Which do I believe? lol, I don’t.
What I see, from my perspective, is them reflecting something back to me that is a gift in some way; regardless of how unpleasant their perception is.
What I REALLY LOVE, is watching for any suffering within me as a response to what is said. If I feel any tension, or any sense that’s uncomfortable, it’s because I believe what they are saying is true in some way, and it scares me. OHHHH! so let’s look at that. This is where deep transformation takes place.
It’s like an opportunity to clear out any fear or dishonesty that’s hiding within. Again, thus is the opportunity of relationship, to show you how you withhold love from yourself. We can only go deep into this, if we release other people from our need for them to perceive us a certain way. This ‘need’ is only a distraction from what is really going on. In this, we can find a deep gratitude for everyone who both likes us and rejects us. Which makes for a playful and fun experience.
It becomes easier to give people this freedom to like or hate you, when you see that what is liked or hated, is not really You. You will find that your Joy becomes unaffected by the opinions of others, and you will naturally attract people into your experiences that reflect this joy. However, if you focus on the negativity of it, you will draw this to you as well, while not clearing up the internal issues that are creating the lack of love experience.
You are well!! Love you. gotta run…