The great oscillation.
Back and Forth, Night and Day, In and Out, Up and Down. Now I see it, now I don’t. I’m so clear, then I’m so confused…
The most common question I’m asked, is some form of… “How can I stay awake?”
As with all questions, it really is only one question that we ask over and over and over again, just dressed up in different clothes. This questions is, “Who am I?”
You see, all questions that seek the truth of one’s nature, self, or world, implies an element of separation. It implies that the answer needs found, and is not yet here. Saying also… If I had the answer to this question I could relax into peace, love, joy, freedom, security, or wholeness. The question implies the Self needs found, and is not yet here.
The question “how can I stay awake?” implies that the real you exists in ‘what you deem as’ the awake state of being. Which secretly is saying… “I judge myself when I don’t match the spiritual image I’ve created, and I want to avoid that judgment.”
In a playful way, life hears this and says… “hmmmm, well it’s best that you keep experiencing what you don’t want, until you realize your judgment of it, is what keeps you there.”
We can look at it this way. Imagine waking up in the morning and you experience the radiant beauty that comes with the sunshine, its colors, and the awareness of breath that allows you to be. From within you, expresses a deep gratitude that says… “omg thank you, this is perfect, I love it; I’m home!”
You dance and play all day, then a peculiar thing happens, you start to notice the light begins to fade, and the sun appears to be falling behind a horizon that’s out of reach. Terror begins to set in, and you feel a deep sense of losing what it is you enjoy so much. Not only do you enjoy it, but you feel you have found an answer in the sunlight, the answer of who you are.
Attachment (identifying self) with the sunlight, create a deep fear of darkness; stemming from the idea of loss that says I am losing myself. As night time sets in, the self that is now confused, searches for an answer to the question, “how did I lose myself, how did I lose the light.” These questions of course, arise from the assumption that the self is separate from what you found, so the only place it can go, is to the separate self (or others/same as) as the cause for the loss. This is blame.
The problem, is the belief in a problem. The confusion, is the belief in the question. It is the assumption that something is separate, the question matters not. The question of “who am I,” implies that the “I Am” is not. In truth, there is no question, there is no ‘who’ that is separate from what is.
After the night time fades, the play of awakening happens again; and on and on and on it goes. This play of great oscillation. What is happening, in this play of night and day, is the stripping away of holding on to one side as more or less than the other side. Do you see that without the nighttime, there would not be the morning time? Do you also see, that regardless of the present moment form of this play, that which allows the play never actually goes anywhere? That which allows, is what holds space for the play, so that life can be life; so that the balance can be maintained.
When we experience what is deemed as spiritual asleep-ness, it is in fact an opportunity for balance. What we call darkness, is in fact an opportunity for light to expand in to. However, light cannot expand into darkness, if one is judging the darkness, which is really an avoidance of darkness.
My friend, do you see that the depth of love you hold in your heart now, as you’ve expanded through your human journey, would not have been possible if not for the appearance of darkness? So why then, are you trying to avoid that which has served so well?
The ultimate liberation is not avoiding one end of the spectrum. The ultimately liberation is to see that you are the Life that allows for both to play out; they are one breath of in and out. Eliminate one end completely, and you destroy the whole thing. This is our inner conflict, that there is something that moves in this world that is not the divine play. This is our judgment, which is a reflection of how we see ourselves.
The opportunity, is to allow the natural; which is to allow yourself the experience of sleep if that’s what needs to happen. Seeing, that what you really are, is not affected by the play. In fact, the play is what helps for a deeper embodiment of the truth.
The truly awake one, knows they are neither awake nor asleep. This one extends absolute freedom for the play, including the play of others; with zero judgment that says they should be awake or they are asleep. They see in others, what they see in themselves, which is a divine unfolding that is playing out perfectly. In this space, there is only love; for all, without condition.
The great oscillation is divine perfection, while at the same time a complete disaster for the person who sees themselves as separate from what is. The beauty within this, is no matter the perceived disaster for the person, what they really are, the truth of Self, remains absolutely untouched by the play. All experience, serves this truth, that all illusions of self will collapse, exposing an opportunity to see what is real, true, and worthwhile.
As this is discovered, the Realness of You, -within there is a deep surrender that cares not what happens. Everything is surrendered to the great play, everything is released.
The only place to go, is right now. In this now, one is absolutely free for whatever is to be whatever it is. Consequently, without the resistance, without needing it to be any other way, then this One is with the most sincere Joy for simply being.
Wrapped in the most divine Love, knowing that all is incredibly well, even when it seems like it is not.
All appearances, are simply an in breath or an out breath. Do not hold the great oscillation, and you will discover the great flow that is already carrying you home.
With unconditional love,
for where you are, as you are.