Because we as a society have been conditioned to believe other people hold our emotional wellness, we automatically cling to them with expectations that attempt to restrict their freedom of self exploration and expression.
We have become convinced that our emotional experience is determined by life conditions (victim), rather than our emotional experience is a result of how we ‘perceive’ life condition. Which is to see that how we feel, has nothing to do with others, and everything to do with how we perceive ourselves.
Naturally, with this backwards way of seeing, we limit ourselves from truly living. We wait, until others accept our movement before we move. We wait, until others approve, before we approve of ourselves. This only creates a prison cell that keeps everyone blinded to their own beauty and wholeness; independent of others opinions, judgments, and expectations.
As an exercise, examine your heart and see who you hold resentment, argument, hatred, and un-forgiveness, and see how it is a denial of freedom toward another. No matter how much you think that person affected you, ask, did they affect the real me, or just who I thought I was; who I was holding on to?
Also ask… is my pain a result of the reality of what was, or is my pain the result holding on to a perspective that reinforces a painful story? Am I remember what was, or am I remember a story of pain?
Whatever the perspective is that we hold on to, or constantly bring back up into our awareness, is only a tiny sliver of the whole picture. When we extend freedom to others to learn, grow, and go through their own lessons without condemning, judging, arguing with them in anyway, we begin to see more clearly the bigger picture.
This bigger picture will always show us a more complete perspective that will ALWAYS feel better. ALWAYS. The more painful a perspective of others, the past, or yourself, it can only be painful because it is ignoring a crucial element of love, compassion, and understanding.
If you want to feel better, about yourself and others, then see more of what is happening. See how you, in this moment, are creating how you feel through what perspectives you choose to hold on to. It is all happening within you. Everything.
You are that powerful.